I realize why I never write about my experiences at work. That is because generally they are unpleasant and/or inappropriate. This is deserving of an example. And it just so happens that I have one. I have three middle schools that I go to every so often, and 2/3 of them are not so bad. Were not so bad. That is until this week, when the third graders (8/9th graders by US standards) decided to play a fun English comprehension game with me. This day I happened to be particularly tired, most likely from watching the Disney Channel the night before. Anyway, the students had been learning the grammar structure, *Do you know how to get to....* and *Do you know how to.....* etc. Things like that. And because I was at the school, the Japanese English teacher, Mr. Matsumura, thought it would be good for them to practice speaking with me. So, the students came up with their own sentences, and raised their hands to tell me. They were asked in this order:
Q1. Do you know Mr. Matsumura`s love?
My Response: No. (plus awkward laugh)
Q2. Do you know how to get to Mr. Matsumura`s love?
My Response: No. (plus awkward laugh).
Q3. Do you know how to make babies?
My Response: Evil glare.
Q4. Do you know how to drink protein?
My Response: Excuse me?
And with that the little question-answer session ended. Apparently the kids forgot that english is my first language. Or perhaps they forgot that I am still young enough to know what they are saying. Unfortunately I am not in America where disrespect like that gets your ass in a lot of trouble.....lets step back to middle school....I cant imagine EVER saying that to a teacher. Excuse me, Mrs..... do you know how to エッチする？ Yet at the same time, I cant help but be impressed at how these kids who can barely say *hello,* can pop out such colorful words in English. I just hope they dont ask me to make flashcards.
On 10:30 friday night when I was sitting at home listening to the silence and smelling the burning garbage and metal from the surrounding area, I couldnt help but realize just how rediculously boring my island actually is. There was no where to go, nothing to do, and no one to see. And it was only 10:30. So when Saturday came, I hauled ass to Hiroshima city for the weekend. I ended up playing with Jan for most of the day, discussing how we live in hell, etc. And then we ran into Brandon and managed to put together Halloween Costumes for the club party a few hours away. I met Holly in Nishi Hiroshima and we got ready at her brother`s fiance`s apartment and ended up heading to the party by 11. Holly, being Hawaiian, and I being short and constantly some kind of angry, went as Lilo and Stitch. The Japanese girls that we went with were the fiance`s friends. They were mad cool. They are about 37 and are more bad-ass than I ever will be. We got to the club, Club Chinatown and it was a decent party. Lots of costumes, people, etc. Lots of Japanese boys cross dressed and to be honest, they didnt look much different than they normally do, except for the pink wigs.
Throughout Hiroshima city, Christmas lights, jingle bells, Santa displays and Christmas cheer are all pouring out of the department stores and cafes. All I am asking for is an explanation as to why. Its October. And its Japan. Unless Buddah wears a red suite and eats cookies, I really cant comprehend this.
On the actual night of Halloween I went to Onomichi to a party at a cafe. The photo of the food looking girl, is Jackie, who won the costume contest. She made the costume herself....and entitled it "Obentover." Mad creative. And if you look at the last picture of the two japanese girls with the microphone....the one on the right, I feel, strangely resembles a Japanese version of Rosanne. Stop me if I'm wrong.
I have been leaving the island a lot lately. Its unfortunate, but I can not really be on the island. Recently it has started to make me physically sick. There is a consistant odor EVERYWHERE, not just at the Board of Education. The island usually smells like boiled fecies (at various levels) all of the time. Where as the BOE smells like a host of other unpleantries. I almost threw up while eating last week at a school because I just couldnt take it anymore. I dont know what to do about it, because as it gets colder, its just getting worse. I am no longer able to eat the school lunch food, or sit at work without wearing a mask or shoving tissue up my nose. 残念ながら、 I have no choice but to choke everytime I breathe and eat. I miss plumbing.
[いいですね] Oh man, I sympathize. Though you gotta admit, "drink protein" as a euphamism shows an impressive level of English proficiency.
Heh, I forgot to tell you the story from today.
It was my second time back at the local middle school, and so the 二年生 boys were finally getting used to me and starting to be their true little bastard selves in my presence.
That doesn't bother me, really - what gets to me is just how boneheaded they are about it. One little boy decided to engage in the time-honored tradition of getting foreigners to unknowingly say naughty words, and so he tried to teach me "アナル" as something "you say to 校長先生".
Really, if you're going to try to 騙す a foreigner, you'd at least want to pick a word that wasn't in KATAKANA, right? I don't mind his trying to fuck with me, but that's just insulting to my intelligence.
Luckily, cultural differences do work in our favor every so often. Nobody minded when I reached over and gave him a very satisfying smack upside the head. :)
Posted by: Joe Schmoe, Somewhat a Ho :( | 11/01/2006 at 07:59 AM